Friday 26 August 2011

Hanging on the telephone? Not any more!



Happy August Bank Holiday to friends, followers and visitors to my blog, both fellow spoonsters and spoonie sympathisers plus any casual passers-by who are very warmly welcome too.


Here in Yorkshire, England, we know the Bank Holiday Weekend's almost upon us. Here are the clues:

Rain - check.

Forecast of more rain - check. 

Cold enough to need a jumper - check.

Heavier rain - check. 

BBQs cancelled - check. 

Summer Music Festival fans bedecked in wellies and rainproofs - check.

Mates who are parents longing for the kids to get back to school - check.

Totally knackered with trying to do extra things in preparation for the rest of the world shutting down for said weekend - oh, sorry that's just me! (And every other PWME who's even well enough to do extra things for a moment in the first place!)




I know from all the years when I worked most Sundays and the occasional Bank Holiday in various jobs and vocations in my pre-M.E. life, how evenings, mealtimes and holidays themselves are often the very times targeted by phone companies to ring your number in the hope of catching someone at home.


So today, I'll pass on some of the best advice on getting rid of unwanted callers I've yet been given. Hope it may save you some spoons in the next few days or in the future!



It may help those of us who find it a difficult task to communicate clearly when put on the back foot, and may also help everyone else in modern society who wants saving from the tyranny of the phone!


In the past, just saying "Sorry, this is a church property..." had the effect of putting the most eager sales rep off their stroke, in my position. But it's not everybody's line of defence!


Since M.E., even ignoring the phone, as I often have to, doesn't always work. Why do certain people still ring the landline, where I can't screen them, instead of my mobile, where I can easily sort the wheat from the chaff? No matter how often I explain the difficulties?






This way is supposed to make those annoying phonecalls from any particular telemarketing company stop, as these tactics below will flip your number off their lists.


The Telephone Preference Service has definitely cut down on junk callers (and junk mail via its sister service) for me. But still some of what I call WEEDOs ("We(e)do not have the callers number to return the call") and WITHYs  (withheld number) manage to get through from time to time.


I used to say things like "Sorry, wrong number..." and put the receiver down asap when a call centre employee pronounced my rather obscure name incorrectly. Once I knew they didn't know me!

That only leads to repeated call-backs. But then I heard from a friend the way to end these energy-sapping intrusions for good.

THREE MAGIC WORDS!

"HOLD ON, PLEASE..."

You say this, put the receiver down off the hook, and don't speak again or let them know you are still there. Yes - DON'T hang up immediately (as I always used to do), but make them wait.


Having to waste time like this, the telemarketer will have to hang up quite quickly themselves, in order to fulfil their own targets.
Your number should be taken off their list to save them making the same time-consuming mistake again! Genius!

When you hear the telemarketer's phone's "beep-beep-beep-beep!" tone showing they have hung up, so can you! Job done with minimum spoons used up, only three little words spoken.



Then there are those ominous silent calls from the machines that probe to make sure someone is actually present on the dialled number, in order to then queue up a real sales rep to ring you later.
As soon as you hear the click that tells you it's one of those automated diallers, the second failsafe trick is to hit the "#" (hash) button on your phone 6 or 7 times before hanging up. That apparently will confuse the machine that dials your number and stop the company having you on the automatic ring-back list.

Simple.

I've now got:

(Salesperson) "Hold on, please..."
(Machine) #######

Written boldly on a card by my landline. When brainfog descends, I know exactly what to say to make them stay away!

Hope this helps you too!

Have a happy holiday. Be gentle with yourselves!


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