Puppy head chewing blight

It's not everybody who gets to read the same page of a biography of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire a dozen times while having their scalp chewed by an over-eager puppy.


That's how I spent part of last night.

So it seemed.


My M.E. is rather flared and crashed. Probably from doing a bit too much. Or a virus I might be fighting. I can't keep warm. Yet as ever, beads of sweat are never strangers! Everything is sore. Swallowing feels like necking razor blades.

My appetite has dwindled this week. Just as well! Cooking takes even more 'spoons' than having the energy to fancy eating. I didn't have the energy to plan it well or sort the shopping while I had a bit of Mum's help over the Bank Hol. I have to eat judiciously of course, to keep my blood sugar in order. But it's soup and simples this week. That's where having to get rid of the freezer when forced to downsize when I lost my job really hits home!

No, of course I didn't read the page a dozen times. I didn't count. But my eyes kept doing the distance without taking it in. Again and again. Why will lines not stay parallel for a change? Then the eyes got too sore to go on. Head too banging to keep them open. My chest nagged to be allowed to liquefy on the carpet. You know the score! By then my wrists were too sore and fluttery to keep the book at the right angle, possibly from typing too for a minute too long while blogging and Twittering.

Maybe it was sitting up to pay the September bills. The Methodist year begins today, the day I used to start another exciting year working for the Methodist Church, for the decades pre-M.E. I'm still not completely over that particular bereavement even after five years unable to work. 

Nobody's missing me now, on this day, or wondering why I haven't turned up for a meeting, funeral, baptism, wedding or visit! It passes like all the others on the calendar as my colleagues and congregations get on with their busy lives! Enough of that stream of consciousness! The day will come when I can rejoin them all, and not just muster strength for a few minutes in the pulpit each month to help out and "keep my hand in," after which I'm fit for nothing else for days! That's improvement from bed bound, at least occasionally, I remind myself.

No, of course an eager puppy wasn't chewing my scalp. My darling dog died a couple of years ago and I've been too sick to contemplate getting another companion yet. That will be a beautiful day indeed! The aforementioned chewing pup was actually just nerves in my head still feeling the damage from three bouts of shingles. It's like having severe toothache in your noddle! I'd sooner have had the puppy. I can't house-train or cuddle my shingle-mashed nerve endings!

I went to bed early with a hot water bottle, mittens, plus a shawl on top of a slanket. Reminding myself that the calendar would need changing today to September this morning, not December! I love these glam summer fashions! I'll be setting a trend, no doubt, looking on the bright side! At least the thermals are still in the drawer. For now!

Lying awake, I've now hatched a cunning plan, inspired by others online doing similar things. I'm going to use my upcoming 50th birthday next month to raise funds for M.E. biomedical research. No, not donating my body, silly, I still need it! I'll be setting up a page to raise money for independent charity Invest in M.E. or for the M.E. Association .

Watch this space.

I need to consider things like:

-how easily does the cause stick in the minds of older friends (a few find it hard enough to keep up with emails and Google stuff, let alone do anything more complex!)


-where the funding actually goes

-how easy people will find it to donate

Etc. Etc. Etc. Wise, balanced decisions take extra energy on days like this!





www.everyclick.com and www.justgiving.com seem tried, tested, and easy to use, to me anyway, so I just need to give it more thought.

In my will, made back in the early days of my diagnosis, I'm leaving modest legacies, should any of my dwindling cash remain by the time of my demise, to the M.E.A. and M.E. Research UK, though in light of current concerns, I wonder if changing that last named charity to Invest in M.E. might better ensure the bequest actually goes where it's needed and will best be used.

I've still time to think about it all, as I've a whole month to enjoy being in my forties! Hopefully even longer still before my last will and testament comes into effect! For now, it's back to bed, though, says my killjoy bod!


P.S. I love my friends! One of them who really "gets" my sense of humour has just messaged me: "love and prayers for a respite from this puppy head chewing blight"! 

My own lad pictured here was always up for a laugh, too!